Loving, Rescuing, and Suffering
www.SharingWithOutShame.com
Parents are often the first to respond when their teen or adult child is battling addiction. When I stepped into that role, I found myself trying to manage my child’s chaos, trying to keep him safe, and pouring out my love in hopes of loving him into recovery. In doing so, I lost myself. My focus on my son became my addiction, I was consumed by trying to save him, which came at a great emotional cost. Addiction doesn’t just affect the person using; it’s a ripple effect, it affects the entire family. As parents, our natural instinct is to protect and help our children, which can lead us into painful and difficult situations.
We’re often the first to notice the warning signs: withdrawing from family, change in friends, shifts in behavior, and signs of substance use. We rush to hospitals, search the streets, try to find the right rehab centers, or bail our children out of trouble. Taking on this "First Responder" role can leave us feeling isolated, overwhelmed, and stuck in a cycle of trying to rescue our child, often at the expense of our own mental and physical health.
What makes this journey even more difficult is the deep love we have for our children. No matter how lost they are in addiction, we never stop loving them. We hold on, hoping that love alone can lead them to sobriety. For years I believed that I could love my son into recovery, I learned the hard way that love just isn’t enough. I made financial, emotional, and personal sacrifices, losing sight of my own health and happiness. I didn’t realize how quickly I fell into unhealthy behaviors, constantly focused on my addicted child, leaving me unavailable to anyone else in my life.
Along the journey of loving and supporting a child in active addiction, many parents experience overwhelming feelings of shame and guilt. We often question ourselves, wondering if we could have done something different. Opening up about these struggles can feel impossible, leaving many parents to suffer in silence. That’s why creating spaces for open, judgment-free conversations about addiction is so important. When parents share their stories without shame, they break free from isolation and stigma, finding the support they need to heal and move forward. Sharing honestly allows families to better understand their own experiences and begin the process of healing together.
May Your Faith and Strength Heal Your Heart!