“You’ve done everything you know how to do.
You’ve begged, bailed your teen or adult child out of jail, shielded your child from consequences of their addiction, kept secrets, sacrificed your peace, and still, nothing has changed.
You’re exhausted, walking on eggshells, quietly breaking under the weight of trying to love your child into recovery.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Families across the world are silently suffering under the false belief that if they just love harder, try harder, or give one more chance, things will finally change.
But here’s the truth: your love isn’t the problem. It’s the way you’ve been taught to give it, through rescuing, fixing, and over-functioning, which keeps you stuck in a painful cycle.
“The greatest gift you can give someone is your own personal development.” - Jim Rohn
It’s not your role to save your child. You’re here to love them in a way that honors both of you—without losing your sanity or your soul. That means setting boundaries, telling the truth, and allowing them to experience the natural consequences of their choices.
This kind of love requires courage. It’s not passive or detached, it’s deeply intentional. It says, “I love you so much, I won’t help you destroy yourself. I love me enough to stop destroying myself in the process.”
When you break the cycle of unhealthy helping, you stop feeding their addiction and start offering the kind of support that can actually lead to recovery.
“There is no way to be a perfect parent, and a million ways to be a good one.”
— Jill Churchill
You don’t have to abandon your child.
You just need to stop abandoning yourself.
This is where the shift begins.
This is the courage to love differently.