Finding freedom, forgiveness, and family renewal
By: Donna Marston
When I wrote my blog “The Walk of Shame Still Echoes,” I shared how it represents layers of my story, both the parts I’ve tucked away and the ones I’ve chosen to show. We all wear layers that hide pieces of us from the world. Behind the mask’s we wear lives unspoken childhood wounds, teenage heartbreak, adult responsibilities, and the losses that cracked us open.
For me, that mask hid the pain of growing up unseen and unheard, of people-pleasing to feel worthy, the sudden death of my father when I was nine months pregnant with my first child, and the years I became addicted to saving my son from his addiction.
When we don’t take the mask off and face what’s underneath, the pain still leaks out. Sometimes it shows up as self-medicating, shopping, food, overworking, or scrolling endlessly. Other times it hides in over-helping, enabling, or trying to control someone else’s recovery. Either way, it keeps us trapped in the dark shadows of life.
But here’s the good news: there are solutions. Healing allows us to remove the mask, step out of the shadows, and return to the light.
The Solutions I’ve Found, and Now Teach
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Awareness – Healing starts with recognizing your patterns. Ask yourself: Am I numbing my pain? Am I rescuing someone else at the cost of my peace? Awareness is the first step to change.
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Boundaries – Setting healthy boundaries is an act of love, for yourself and for your loved one. They protect your energy and create space for others to take responsibility for their healing.
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Connection – Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Support groups, coaching, or trusted friends allow you to be seen and heard, breaking shame’s grip.
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Self-Care – Real self-care isn’t bubble baths (though they’re lovely). It’s daily habits that nurture body, mind, and spirit—like journaling, walking, prayer, or meditation.
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Reframing the Story – Instead of seeing yourself as powerless in your child’s addiction, you begin to see yourself as powerful in your healing. That shift changes everything.
When we practice these steps, something beautiful happens—we reconnect with ourselves. The parts we thought were lost in the darkness rise again in the light. We discover strength we didn’t know we had, and we begin to live—not just survive—no matter what’s happening around us.
Why This Matters
Behind every person in addiction, there’s a family carrying heartbreak. Too often, families believe the only solution is to “fix” their loved one. But the real solution begins with us—healing our own wounds, breaking unhealthy patterns, and choosing to live fully even if our loved one is still struggling.
I know this path, because I’ve walked it. And now, I walk it with others.
If you’ve felt unseen, unheard, or consumed by someone else’s struggle, I want you to know this: there is a way out of the shadows. Your healing matters. You deserve to step back into the lightness of life and reconnect with the person you were always meant to be.
I write, speak, and coach—to guide people how to uncover the roots of trauma, stop unhealthy helping, and find practical solutions that lead to healing. If you’re ready to take that step, let’s connect.